- Taking up with someone they don't love, in order to wound the one they do. This is to make themselves unattractive to the one they love, and drive them away.
- Attempting to convince the one they love to move on. This is done to hurt themselves, because if the one they love hurts them (rejection, jealousy) it can be justification for other inappropriate behaviors.
All of this is done as an attempt to control what's perceived as an inevitable disaster: The One They Love Leaving Because They Themselves Are Unworthy Of Love. If it's inevitable then forcing it to happen earlier is a means of controlling it.
People with attachment problems are almost always control freaks, because at some early age they were confronted with a lack of control over their lives, and it terrified them, usually some type of abuse at the hands of a parent, or other adult in charge. As soon as they were able to control anything they did so, rather than risk that feeling of helplessness again.
Therefore, rather than try to control themselves to prevent the disaster they hasten it; no one could possibly love them, so all else is pointless. Lets get it over with, and hurt them so much they know better than to ever come back. (And hurt me again.)
Sadly, many never realize this pattern, and push away the one they love in favor of people who don't matter as much, or whom they can control. It's safer, less of a gamble.
And cruel, empty, pathetic, and, worst of all, needless.
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