Divorce papers

My divorce papers came.

I had decided not to go to the hearing, just to let it all be done.

There were promises broken, in addition to the divorce happening in the first place. Foolish me; I'd hoped someone incapable would become capable.

I want to have no more feeling about this. She can flip a switch and feel she wants. She says. I don't believe her. She believes her. I'm jealous of her capacity to self-delude.

My karma is no longer legally bound to someone who lives by a whim, who can't keep to a budget, bargain, timetable, promise, or vow.

I'm mainly relieved. I'm still angry.

All those years with someone who can't see their own part in anything, who thinks their blame extends no further than starting a thing that failed, with no clue in what action of hers caused the failure.

I have no charity left for her. I was thrown away like trash by someone acting like trash, acting just like the mother she hated.

My curse, until she changes herself: That she see herself as she is rather than how she wishes, and feel appropriately at the sight of herself.

Rules of Wrist 12-1-10

Rules of Wrist 12-1-10

• Being unable to say something to someone’s face loses you moral high-ground.* Being unwilling to subject your views to scrutiny, or criticism, thereby talking down to someone else loses even more. Being unable to say something to someone’s face, AND talking down to someone because you’re unwilling to subject your views to scrutiny, or criticism, AND turning out to be wrong makes you worse than you thought they were in the first place.
  
  *Exception: When dealing with a narcissist or psychopath who will not see themselves as wrong despite evidence, and may do you harm in confrontation.

• It is statistically impossible for it to always have been them.

• Being “eternally young” is NOT the same as being “perpetually immature”. When you have only the same problem-solving skills you had 20 years ago, with no new ones, you are not “childlike”; you are “childish”. At some point immaturity becomes insanity.