She depended on someone
in the depths of an obvious
Major
Depression
to reflect her best aspects back to her,
to give her a sense of self-worth.
And I couldn’t.
I couldn’t see myself,
let alone her.
She’s now doing things she enjoys,
things she’d given up doing before I moved in,
but acts like she gave them up because of me.
In reality,
before the depression began,
I encouraged her to do things for her,
trying to get her to stop sacrificing
absolutely everything for everyone.
But she wouldn’t.
She divided herself up among so many people
that everyone got only a tiny portion,
and she
none at all.
And to be honest
I hated her for it.
Because no matter how little of her was left
she wouldn’t let me give back.
She turned bitter when I offered to help,
yet continued trying to take care of me
when I didn’t want a care-taker
but a partner.
After too many thoughtless refusals
I stopped offering.
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