Surprisingly good things

I had to get out of the house. Had to. I was going quite stupidly mad, mainly because I was trying to convince myself it was okay to not put forth the effort to leave, that being lazy was somehow forgivable, as the drizzle made my leg hurt.


After reaching my limit for aborted attempts at recording a song I left. My first surprise was when I put in my headphones, and tried to listen to Afghan Whigs' 'Gentlemen'. I couldn't. It was too perfect a rendering of some of my least favorite emotions.


So I put on 'The Great Cold Distance' by Swedish Metal band Katatonia because anything would be more soothing than how 'Gentlemen' made me feel. 

Before I go on let me say that I HATE Scandinavian Metal on spec. I don't care how talented the players are; they just seem so caught up in being METAL that they have no idea how to write SONGS. There's often this notion that they're the inheritors of Wagner that makes me giggle, and a pretension that they're continuing what Stravinsky started. 


They are Wankers, for the most part.


But this album by Katatonia is so BEAUTIFUL. My gods. The think about melody, and harmony, and conveying a message to anyone listening, not just those who dress like them. There's depth, and caring, real feeling. The aggressive guitars are used to emphasize mood, rather than destroy it, while the vocals tell emotional stories we all get: loss, love, anger, disappointment, and hope.


Good songs transcend genre. These are great songs. 


As I walked I let myself be moved by the beat, power-limping in time. I even started moving my hands, knowing what a spectacle the shaven-headed cane carrying dude must look to passers by, nearly rockin' out to the Metal.


I walked in front of a middle aged couple for a while, power-limping top speed. I had already accidentally intimidated several people, but I didn't care; I'm harmless, I know it, so it's their problem. They were behind me 1/4 mile, and then my leg cramped. I stopped and leaned on the rail near the Memorial Bridge. 


And the couple stopped to see if I was alright. 


They stopped


to see


if I was alright.


They weren't intimidated, or if they were it was secondary to seeing someone possibly in need. They were really concerned. I thanked them heartily and said it was just cramp. The man said I'd been going quite a clip. I replied that power-limp ought to be an Olympic sport, and they moved on.


It's always such a relief to be treated as a human being, especially when you've been questioning your own humanity regularly. My mood, which had been tenuously holding to good, was now solidly anchored in the positive.


I continued into town, went to BNG and saw guys I hadn't talked to in years. Last at a funeral. Was weird given last night's 'Hurt'...


But after that I had a long, in depth political discussion with Angry Mike. Turns out he and I agree on most things, arriving at the same points through different rationales. 


Also had a good conversation with Calvin, the young guy who lives in our attic. He'd showed up unexpectedly, and was outside drinking tea. He's going on a short tour with his band, supporting Angry Samoans. He's a good guy. 


We talked about Scandinavian Metal bands, and some of the things he told me about one he knew about reinforced my earlier point about the majority of them. I'll not mention them because they deserve no fame from me.


He left to walk, I went back in BNG to get some dessert to take home. Setting eyes on a piece of chocolate on chocolate on chocolate cake (who gives a damn what they call it) I finally got the attention of Angry Mike's impossibly beautiful girlfriend Tuya (sp?). "What'chu want?" she said with mock attitude. "Cake!" I replied ravenously. "Oh. How sad. This piece is broken. I'll have to give it to you for free."


She did (aside from the dollar tip). More Katatonia, more grooving with my cake in a box on the way home. 


In spite of the weekend's bobble (or narrowly averted faceplant), and having to talk to and about m...someone I don't want to today, I'm back to something akin to last weeks blissful mood, hovering around a 10 on my Hierarchy. Simple, good stuff. Small magics I haven't tried to manage, and didn't try to control.


Needs are almost all met. Life is quite good.


I still have wants, but I won't be greedy. But, if'n his Almighty Ironicness would be amenable to it I'd not turn down...well, later. If...