Walters' Rules Of Wrist 2-15-16

People recognize your medical condition, until it inconveniences them. After that it’s a character flaw.

***************************************************************************

The young often treat their youth as an accomplishment, and age as a failing of character. Ironically, youth is handed out free, whereas getting old takes work.

***************************************************************************

People judge complaints they don’t share to be made up or petty.

***************************************************************************

“I have to believe” is one of the most disappointing ways to preface a statement in the English language. It implies an understanding that a belief would not survive facts, but a preference to hold onto that belief in spite of reality.

***************************************************************************

The serious use of the term “Nanny State”, without a sense of irony or satire, usually means that what you thought was a conversation is actually a lecture.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyone using the term “Statism” as a pejorative will usually spout a bunch of over-simplifications about the greatness of deregulation or anarchy, while demonstrating the philosophical and rhetorical sophistication of 14 year-old boys.

***************************************************************************

Average people who think they have discovered a new way of doing something often say “What’s wrong with everyone, that no one does it this way?”

Wise people who think they may have discovered a new way of doing something often say “What’s wrong with my idea, that no one does it this way?”

***************************************************************************

There are few social crimes so offensive as leaving your assigned role, regardless of growth you’ve undergone. Those who forgive and adapt to your growth are true friends. 

The rest will ignore your changes, attempting to force you back into your old role, and punishing you should you not comply.

***************************************************************************

People need a villain.

***************************************************************************

A consensus is usually mistaken for truth by those in agreement.

***************************************************************************

To get people to vote against their own interests first scare them, then give them someone to blame.

Fear and anger are, individually, the emotions most detrimental to the perceiving of reality. These two emotions are the easiest to incite in others, as well as two of the most powerful and drug-like.

A skilled orator, seeking to influence many people, can use these emotions in concert to great effect.

Start by scaring the audience about the troubles in their own lives. Include enough believable examples that the point seems grounded in reality. When the fear is at its highest, give them someone to blame.

This is vital: it switches fear to anger, without any intervening emotions.

Fear, on its own, feels weak; it is the emotion of victims, therefore the powerless. Anger conveys certainty, an unassailable belief in the self, in a philosophy, in any course of action that lessens the power of the object of initial fear. More importantly, anger conveys a feeling of power.

To prevent a return of fear and uncertainty, the anger must be recharged regularly. The audience, happy to avoid the feelings powerlessness, will seek this fix on their own, whether directly from the orator, or from conversation with other audience members.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The consensus of groups of people high on anger overrides any law or scripture, even the ones those people profess to believe.

Why I Reject Political Debate On My Facebook Page

Once upon a time I was a Right-Leaning Centrist, prone to believing any conspiracy theory that cast the government as evil, and acting to limit or outright destroy the freedom of all people. Any like-minded people I saw as enlightened, and felt that we were all in on some secret knowledge to which society at large was blind. Any perceived problem with the world for which the solution was violent unleashing of rage, a tearing down of all that went before, occupied most of my thinking. And the visions of the destruction made me feel powerful.

 

Then I got sober. 

 

In staying sober I came to understand that my most libertarian/conservative views were based on fear, and were oversimplifications of reality. The longer I remained sober the more complex thoughts I was unable to think. 

 

I worked on understanding why I’d always felt/thought certain ways, and learned that fear had ruled much of my life. The easiest way to not be afraid was to be angry. Being angry was the first tool that worked to stop the world from preying on me as a child.

 

But anger doesn’t grow up. Anger makes all problems look simple, and despises nuance and subtlety. 

 

I realized that the origin of my angriest political beliefs came from a hatred of Political Correctness, that began as a childish resentment of being told what to do. This had metastasized into a belief that anything liberal was evil. 

 

I needed to understand more, thus had to think, not feel in order to do that. 

 

I was shocked to realize that my personal standards of fairness were violated by the principles that I thought I believed in, and that libertarianism actually lets bullies dominate everyone else, and blames victims for their plight. 

 

I began researching, and learning. 

 

One of the most important things I learned was that people with my former beliefs were more prone to confirmation bias, meaning that information contradicting their views, no matter how reliable, was seen as false or fake, and any information confirming their views was quickly believed. They also accepted as validating facts another person’s similar opinion. 

 

When shown that the facts were against them these people with whom I used to agree would attack me personally. They had no interest in being right, only in not seeing themselves as wrong. 

 

Rather than engage in return fire, I gave up trying to debate. Now I reject political debate on my page. If your opinion differs, keep it to yourself; in all likelihood I once agreed with you, and learned differently through long, dedicated work. And, having done that work, I reject the right of anyone to tell me that they know better.

 

Political positions demonstrated to me to be bullshit by logic, reason, and research (If you believe any of the following 1) you are wrong 2) I never want to see your opinion on such matters expressed on my page.) :

 

Obama is a Muslim/Socialist/Dangerous Madman/Kenyan.

Climate change is a hoax.

 

Libertarianism is about freedom for everyone.

 

The Second Amendment protects us from tyranny. 

 

Liberals are coming for your guns.

 

The Founders created the USA as a Christian nation. 

 

Whites/Conservatives/Christians are persecuted/unfairly treated.

 

Socialism=Stalinism and any degree of it always leads to tyranny.

 

Racist treatment of whites by minorities is just as damaging to society as racist treatment of minorities by whites. 

 

The media has a liberal bias.

Walters' Rules of Wrist 6-20-14

Rules of Wrist 6-20-14

Wounded People

 Healing

Deciding you are healed does not make it so. Positive attitude only goes so far. Real healing takes work and time. And it doesn’t count if you haven’t done the work, just waited a while and declared yourself healed.

Over-simplified metaphorical example: A wound that needs stitches will likely not close on its own; do the work, get the stitches. Waiting for it to close will just leave you open to infection.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Appearances

Being able to parrot socially acceptable views on anger and hatred doesn’t mean you are not angry and hateful; it may just mean you’re so adept at psychological camouflage that you can even hide from yourself.

See Healing.

Seeming is NOT being. The truth is truth, regardless of manipulated public perception, and the truth always comes out.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Therapy

Believing yourself immune to therapy is a self-fulfilling prophesy. It also demonstrates a weak ego that needs cheap validation, and a deeply ingrained dishonesty. In “proving” therapy’s ineffectiveness, you are “proving” yourself “right”, and can tell yourself and the world “I tried, but it didn’t work”.

And you can brag that your problems are so bad that they can’t be fixed, casting yourself, at least in your mind, as some kind of superlative, ie “The Worst”, or “The Sickest”, or “The Walkingest Wounded”.

The goal of therapy is to get to the Why of some pervasive thought or feeling that makes your life worse. In fulfilling your own prophesy you are avoiding self-examination and getting at the truth.

The reasons why you sought help did not simply go away just because you wasted a therapist’s time on an exercise of self-congratulation.

See Healing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saviors

No one is going to “hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together”, especially not a lover.

Don’t put that burden on someone else.

Don’t sabotage any chance at a successful relationship by this expectation of superhumanity from your lover. You WILL discover that they are JUST human, and your disappointment will be cruel. 
It will ruin your relationship. And likely has ruined others in the past.

If you identify with the notion of having “broken pieces” that need to be stuck “back together”, then you are probably wounded. If you are wounded, you need healing.

But this:

Is bullshit, a fantasy of a quick fix. It’s a daydream of using another person, not just as a drug, but as a cure. And, if that is your goal in a relationship, you should probably remain alone. And you need healing.